Companies that Care: A First Person Account of Rescue

Is there ever a silver lining after an unthinkable loss? Approaching the one-year anniversary of my wife- Allison's passing, close friends have asked, "Have you found any solace or peace after losing Allison to cancer?" The search for solace, in some ways, can be harder and more emotionally exhausting than the loss itself. Attempting to make sense of, and come to terms with, loss, feels surreal -- and is wearing.

Each of us at some time will experience the acute pain of losing someone we love and the preparatory emotional vacillation between the promise of new treatments and the anxieties of treatment failure. All the while, the caregiver performs day to day tasks within shapeless days of watching a loved one suffer. And how long is it appropriate to grieve? Does it ever just end?

However, this story isn't about my grief. It's about finding the silver linings.... Specifically, it is about companies that care and help their employees rebound from experiences like mine, the loss of my best friend and beautiful wife of 17 years. This is a story about discovery and the unlikely places in which I found comfort, companionship, and strength.

If I look at my support system as parts of a whole, some are more central than others. There are some very clear helpers in the day to day and some who remain on the perimeter and make their presence known from time to time not wanting to smother. There are family and friends, neighbors and relatives, who visit, cook meals, or write soothing heart-felt notes. Relief from grief does take a village, and each of these villagers assures me that I am never alone on my difficult journey. They are all appreciated. My children and I have been blessed to have an incredibly supportive and involved family, and to be a part of a community that has been amazing on so many levels. But we are a society of workers and most of us likely spend more time at work than anywhere else, away from our traditional supports. When something like my wife’s long illness hits a family, inevitably there are questions concerning our jobs. How much time will I need off? How flexible can my employer be around working from home and during off hours, to make up for the time I will need to effectively navigate this crisis? How will I navigate what will likely be an unpredictable schedule? 

Fortunately for me, my support network extends beyond friends and family to co-workers and the company’s leadership team. The merger of work and personal life come into sharp relief when traumatic events in one sphere intrude upon and color every aspect of our waking experiences. I cannot simply ignore the fact that my wife is dying when I arrive at the workplace as if transported into another world with its unique set of rules and definitions of human nature. Pure Insurance understands the needs of the whole person and was certainly one of the silver linings of my experience during this challenging period of my life. Pure is a company that truly cares about its employees’ well-being and whose show of support has been nothing short of astonishing. It began a full seven years ago with words of encouragement when Allison was first diagnosed with breast cancer to the eventual attendance of so many at Allison's memorial service. This overwhelming show of support is characteristic of a culture where people come first. Business profits provide the nourishment like air and water, but people provide the sustenance for personal and organizational health and accomplishment. Whether having to be out of the office for long treatment days and testing (which went on for years) or needing to take a family vacation to create positive memories for our kids, Pure never wavered when I requested the time off. Indeed, they generously went beyond cursory condolences. The list of the company’s support is extensive: Sporting event tickets for the kids, offers of local vacation spots to escape to when Allison couldn't travel, even something as simple as lunch. I felt that Pure was truly invested in my welfare and genuinely cared from the beginning. The way they treated and continue to treat me was not a one-off event, but rather a demonstration of the Pure culture that the company extends to all of its employees. 

Not all companies understand the power of caring and the mindset and effort it takes to create an enterprise where people truly matter. It starts at the top with leadership's commitment to care, and trickles down through the management ranks and into the front lines. You get there by hiring authentic people and emphasizing the importance of empathy, among other traits. It continues during the on-boarding of new employees. At Pure, employees go through PurEQ, a workshop focused on harnessing emotional intelligence and its enabling elements such as self-awareness and perspective-taking. The interpersonal markers of EQ are on display throughout the ranks all the way up to our CEO.

In Sheryl Sandberg's book, Option B, she writes about her experiences returning to work after her husband Dave tragically died on a trip to Mexico. She reflects on how her colleagues at Facebook were patient with her upon her return especially during meetings when she was expected to lead. They gave her permission to bow out when she felt like working alone or remotely. Good companies let people be who they are and to feel what they feel, un-apologetically.

Pure recently contributed editorial to a soon to be released book by Michael O'Malley entitled Organizations for People. In his book, O'Malley and his co-author, William Baker, researched 21 companies in the US that have won “Best Companies to Work” accolades by providing caring, accountable, and engaging environments for their employees. In my discussions with Michael, I described the way Pure cares for its people and the stories of support from team-mates when one employee is experiencing a difficult event in their lives. The encouraging sign from Michael's research was that there are lots of companies that "get it"; and more and more have weaved kindness into the fabric of their cultures. They realize it's not just about employee retention or simple utilitarian calculations in which corporate beneficence is exchanged for profits; it's about creating cultures where employees, if faced with challenges, can lean on their colleagues and teams without feeling embarrassed or conflicted, removing any sort of stigma from a difficult experience or period in their life. Employees who know that the company has their backs venture curiously into the unknown and give their all. The result is a highly dedicated and loyal group of employees who do not think twice about working anywhere else – or harder than they do for the leadership team at Pure. And, yes, motivation is personal: we are just not going to let one another down.

As I recover from Allison's passing, my mission is very clear. I'll do my best to pay it forward and to promote the kind of culture and company that was there for me when I needed it the most. In this difficult time, I am counting my silver linings. 

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